Virtue, Schmirtue

A Godless Glance at the Good Stuff

So here I am, minding my own business, spiritually unvaccinated, and morally self-regulating—when suddenly, I think to write about virtue.

Virtue? Really?

That dusty, cardigan-wearing cousin of morality who shows up at parties uninvited, insists we use coasters, and reminds everyone to drink responsibly? That virtue?

Fine.

Let’s do this. Because believe it or not, even those of us who don’t answer to sky daddies or ancient burning shrubbery occasionally exhibit “good behavior.” And we do it without divine surveillance or eternal bribes. No hellfire. No harp concerts. Just vibes.

Here are a few virtues I begrudgingly admit are... well... kinda great. A look at where folks like myself and the god-fearing church people of the world can see eye to eye.

1. Community: The Original Group Chat

Sure, churches do the whole community thing. So do cults, multilevel marketing schemes, and people who love cryptocurrency. The bar is low. But the idea of community? Golden. Humans are social animals—we just tend to get clingy and start assigning each other titles like “deacon” or “tribal high warlock.”

Still, the potlucks slap. Grandma’s koo koo (Armenian casserole dish) brings people together faster than the second coming ever will. Community is about showing up for each other, whether you're giving someone a ride, feeding their cat, or pretending to like their interpretive dance performance. That’s virtue in action, baby.

2. Ritual: Because Time Is an Illusion and We Need Something to Do

Light a candle. Blow one out. Smash a glass. Spin a dreidel. Make a wish. Drink from a red solo cup. Rituals are humanity’s way of saying, “I have no idea what’s happening, but I’m going to do this weird little thing to feel like I’m in control.”

We love a good ritual. It makes weddings feel sacred, funerals feel less like a taxidermy convention, and birthdays feel like achievements instead of reminders that our joints now make weird noises. The real virtue of ritual? It keeps us from screaming into the void every time someone asks, “So what’s the meaning of life?”

3. Moral Aspiration: The Struggle Is Real

Despite what some folks believe, morality did not drop fully-formed from a burning bush. Most of us figured out that not stealing, lying, or pushing people into wells is a pretty decent way to keep friends and stay out of prison.

We aspire to be better. Sometimes we fail and eat someone else’s yogurt from the breakroom fridge. Other times we donate blood, tip generously, or raise children who don't grow up to be internet trolls. Moral aspiration is messy, inconsistent, and wildly inconvenient. Which is exactly why it’s a virtue. It’s the conscious effort to not be a jerk, even when being a jerk would be faster, easier, and possibly more fun.

4. Awe: The Legal High

Sometimes, life hits you with a moment of sheer, inexplicable “whoa.” The northern lights. A Bach cello suite. A baby that somehow looks like Winston Churchill. Or the terrifying realization that you are standing on a spinning space rock surrounded by the vacuum of death, yet somehow craving pancakes.

That’s awe. And it’s amazing. It doesn’t need a name, a temple, or a doctrine. Just a willingness to be stunned. Virtue? Sure. Or maybe it’s just the universe giving us a break from doomscrolling. Either way, I’ll take it.

5. Forgiveness: Basically Emotional Gymnastics

Forgiveness is like doing yoga with your soul. It’s uncomfortable, slightly sweaty, and makes you question your life choices, but afterward you feel kind of amazing.

It’s also one of the hardest virtues to pull off without sounding like a smug character in a Hallmark movie. But the truth is, forgiving someone—truly letting go of your internal rage monster—is liberating. Not for them. For you. Because walking around carrying grudges is like carrying bricks in your backpack and wondering why your spine hurts.

Sometimes forgiveness is virtuous. Sometimes it’s just laziness with flair. Either way, it counts.

So, what’s the point of all this?

None, really.

But if we’re going to stumble around this chaotic, accidental life together, we might as well do it with a little kindness, a dash of wonder, and the occasional casserole. Virtue, it turns out, isn’t about being pure or pious—it’s about being human and trying not to ruin it for everyone else.

And if we happen to enjoy a few good jokes, shared meals, and inappropriate memes along the way?

Even better.